You aren’t as good (or as bad) as everyone says you are. That really sinks in for me. Here’s a quote that sheds a little bit more light on this concept:
“You’re never as good as everyone tells you when you win, and you’re never as bad as they say when you lose.” – Lou Holtz.
So, take a moment to reflect. Has anybody ever told you that you did a horrible job, or maybe that you did something better than anyone else could have? How did that feel?
Chances are, if it was a criticism, you might have felt bad about yourself and angry at the other person. And, on the flip side, if it was a congratulatory comment, you may have felt superior and above everyone else.
It’s human nature, right? We often take things said by other people to heart, and that makes sense. We are raised to take into account our parents’ opinions – “You’re such a great soccer player or, “You aren’t very good at singing.” Remember, the brules!
That isn’t to say that you shouldn’t consider other people’s opinions, but instead, not let them impact how you view yourself. If you know you did a poor job at something, figure out why and what you could do better next time. If you did an awesome job at something, take a moment to appreciate your success and maybe think about how you could help someone else do the same.
If you need more reason to stop caring about what other people think of you, consider this…
People don’t walk around thinking about us all day long. They don’t go home and say to themselves, “Whoa, that Jeff guy is really dumb,” or “Man, that Jeff is so brilliant.” In the book How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie explained, “When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem, we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about ourselves.”
So, if everyone is thinking about themselves 95 percent of the time, they really don’t have much time to think about how great or bad you are.
The takeaway: don’t get so wrapped up in you and what others think about you, whether good or bad. Stay hungry. Stay humble. Stay smart. And, take that extra energy you’re spending worrying about what others are thinking about you and put it to good use.
In the near future, I will share some thoughts on this topic related more to the positive and negative self-talk loop we can get ourselves into (and tips on how to get out of it!).
Life is good. – Jeff
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